Teenagers are at an awkward moment in their lives in that they are not children yet not entirely adults either. They have a proverbial foot in both worlds, which can make them emotionally volatile to the slightest external trigger. While many teens outgrow their moodiness and immaturity as they near adulthood, they still may react strongly to a romantic breakup. As the parent of someone with a teenager broken heart, you can help your child through it and spare the quiet and sanity of your household while you soothe your child's high emotions.
During this particularly emotional time in the teen's life, the attention will be less on the creature comforts in life and more on the fact that he or she has been turned away by a proposed love interest. The comforts of life, including the child's phone, car, clothing, house, and loved ones, take a back seat to the desired goal, which is the person who spurned the romantic quest in the first place. These items are of no use to you in your efforts to calm the proverbial storm.
Further, this attempt to gloss over the hurt does not address the underlying situation, which is rejection of their love interest. Being rejected is a major fear of most teens. At this age, they need to be accepted and if not loved at least admired by their peers. Rejection can be a deep wound to their psyche.
They also do not want their parents' consolation because it is not on the same level as the love of their intended romantic partner. They already know that their parents love them. They likewise may already take that love for granted because it has never been threatened. Still, it cannot take the place of the love that they want from the person who rejected them.
With that, you might deal with the emotional turmoil the only way you know how as a parent. You could put your child to work. By keeping the teen busy, you divert the attention from the love dilemma and onto tasks that needed to be taken care of anyway. You keep him or her out of the bedroom where he or she may lament and cry over the breakup.
If the teen is too young to work outside of the home, he or she can work inside of the home. You might have plenty of work that can be done to turn the attention to a more pressing matter that will benefit the household. You can work the grief out of the situation and have tasks like cleaning, mowing, and other chores tackled accordingly.
It would not be out of the question for you to reward them for doing the chores or working a job as asked. A trip to the local shopping mall for a new outfit or a visit to a nearby resort could soothe the pain if at least temporarily. Ultimately, your child will need to be guided toward objectifying the conflict and learning that the rejection is not his or her problem but the problem of the other person involved.
The first romantic crisis in your teen's life does not have to be a disruptive event for the whole family. You can take the upper hand by using these approaches to the situation. You gain experience and can be ready for the next time that it happens.
During this particularly emotional time in the teen's life, the attention will be less on the creature comforts in life and more on the fact that he or she has been turned away by a proposed love interest. The comforts of life, including the child's phone, car, clothing, house, and loved ones, take a back seat to the desired goal, which is the person who spurned the romantic quest in the first place. These items are of no use to you in your efforts to calm the proverbial storm.
Further, this attempt to gloss over the hurt does not address the underlying situation, which is rejection of their love interest. Being rejected is a major fear of most teens. At this age, they need to be accepted and if not loved at least admired by their peers. Rejection can be a deep wound to their psyche.
They also do not want their parents' consolation because it is not on the same level as the love of their intended romantic partner. They already know that their parents love them. They likewise may already take that love for granted because it has never been threatened. Still, it cannot take the place of the love that they want from the person who rejected them.
With that, you might deal with the emotional turmoil the only way you know how as a parent. You could put your child to work. By keeping the teen busy, you divert the attention from the love dilemma and onto tasks that needed to be taken care of anyway. You keep him or her out of the bedroom where he or she may lament and cry over the breakup.
If the teen is too young to work outside of the home, he or she can work inside of the home. You might have plenty of work that can be done to turn the attention to a more pressing matter that will benefit the household. You can work the grief out of the situation and have tasks like cleaning, mowing, and other chores tackled accordingly.
It would not be out of the question for you to reward them for doing the chores or working a job as asked. A trip to the local shopping mall for a new outfit or a visit to a nearby resort could soothe the pain if at least temporarily. Ultimately, your child will need to be guided toward objectifying the conflict and learning that the rejection is not his or her problem but the problem of the other person involved.
The first romantic crisis in your teen's life does not have to be a disruptive event for the whole family. You can take the upper hand by using these approaches to the situation. You gain experience and can be ready for the next time that it happens.
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